Are you searching for an intimacy with someone and this someone is not just a normal person but your spouse? Then do not be disappointed if you are not feeling it any more because it can be solved. How? (Picture courtesy of Flickr)
- Do not expect too much. Do not expect your spouse to be home on time or at certain time of dinner. Do not expect that she or he will say 'I LOVE YOU' every day, every month or every time that you expect it. Expecting too much will only cause discouragement and despair if the outcome is not according to your 'BIG EXPECTATIONS'.
- Deal with the disconnectedness that keeps far from your spouse. This is your responsibility. Not the other person but yourself. Have the first move. Swallow some ego behind the relationship. Being proud and thinking only yourself is not healthy for you to have intimacy. Do not forget to say 'SORRY' if you really mean it. It may not be as easy as you think but it can save intimacy.
- Do not define intimacy as what it looks and feels like. Trying to compare your relationship to others could only have disappointment. Always think that every person and relationship is unique - emotionally, intellectually or spiritually.
- Do not be motivated by what your spouse can do for you but rather have a desire to do what you can for him/her. Your role is to please first your spouse before anybody else.
- Avoid perfection. There is no such as perfect relationship or perfect spouse. It is better to have an attitude of acceptance, being ready to deal the weakness of other person.
- Be loyal and avoid cheating on your spouse. Do not use the relationship for your own benefit.
- Have a loving communication. Establish a regular patterns of communication with your spouse. Neglecting to ask even if it is a slight decision that has to be consulted may affect intimacy at home. Be open but not sarcastic.
Do not abandon the process. Faithfulness is the key. Stay and be connected to him/her. It will deepen your relationship and the reward is intimacy.
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