Intimacy with someone you love!

Are you searching for an intimacy with someone and this someone is not just a normal person but your spouse? Then do not be disappointed if you are not feeling it any more because it can be solved. How? (Picture courtesy of Flickr)

• Do not expect too much. Do not expect your spouse to be home on time or at certain time of dinner. Do not expect that she or he will say 'I LOVE YOU' every day, every month or every time that you expect it. Expecting too much will only cause discouragement and despair if the outcome is not according to your 'BIG EXPECTATIONS'.

• Deal with the disconnectedness that keeps far from your spouse. This is your responsibility. Not the other person but yourself. Have the first move. Swallow some ego behind the relationship. Being proud and thinking only yourself is not healthy for you to have intimacy. Do not forget to say 'SORRY' if you really mean it. It may not be as easy as you think but it can save intimacy.
  

• Do not define intimacy as what it looks and feels like. Trying to compare your relationship to others could only have disappointment. Always think that every person and relationship is unique - emotionally, intellectually or spiritually.
  

• Do not be motivated by what your spouse can do for you but rather have a desire to do what you can for him/her. Your role is to please first your spouse before anybody else.
  

• Avoid perfection. There is no such as perfect relationship or perfect spouse. It is better to have an attitude of acceptance, being ready to deal the weakness of other person.
  

• Be loyal and avoid cheating on your spouse. Do not use the relationship for your own benefit.

• Have a loving communication. Establish a regular patterns of communication with your spouse. Neglecting to ask even if it is a slight decision that has to be consulted may affect intimacy at home. Be open but not sarcastic.
  

Do not abandon the process. Faithfulness is the key. Stay and be connected to him/her. It will deepen your relationship and the reward is intimacy.

some reasons why your wife is furious!

Did you ever ask yourself, how come your wife is so silent but hiding the angriness inside herself or sometimes shouting her mad feeling? Don't be so blind of some small things that will hurt your wife's feelings. What are those? And how to avoid it?

• Negative Criticism - before expressing it, understand first what you are talking about. Be specific and give some valid examples. Avoid to use the word 'never' or 'always' because it will only encourage argument. Do not criticize your wife around unpleasant environment like in front of your children, with friends or with parents-in-law. Be positive when criticizing like 'Hey honey that is a new recipe right? Wow, next time reduce the salt ok.' Never say 'Hey honey, you can not really cook!It is always salty.!'
  

• Acting like a KING - means you are the BOSS at home and really does not care about the ideas of other person not even your wife. Marriage is all about partnership, it is not a good principle in mind that man has more say at home than a woman. It is not a question of who is earning more but who has a better solution to some problems at home. Always think that a KING should respect a QUEEN and threat her like a precious gold and not just a servant.
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• Help - and not just sit at home. Who is cooking at home? Who is cleaning? Who is responsible for kids assignment? And lot of WHO? If most of the answer is 'my wife' then I want to say 'WAKE-UP' because you are not a good husband!
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• Budget - your finances at home. Do not buy something that is not really needed. Prioritize first you family's need before your own desires. Do not forget to ask your wife if you like something because she might have other financial goals.
  
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• Sex stupid- means lack of knowledge in giving full satisfaction or orgasm. Do not be selfish in bed. Always think that it is like your first night or your honeymoon and do not say negative comment that will ruin the intimacy. Try to be open and ask your wife what she likes and dislikes in bed. Do not force your wife to do something that will make her uncomfortable in bed!
  
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• DO NOT FORGET TO SAY 'I LOVE YOU' AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK!
  

One kid is not enough!

Do you have one kid at home? Thinking of having another kid? Is it really important to have at least two kids at home? Definitely YES! Find out why. (**picture courtesy of Flickr)

• Mature more quickly - home has a lot of chores and responsibilities which means each kid should contribute to the family welfares. J & M have their own tasks to do something at home. J is responsible mostly in setting the table before eating and M is the one placing properly all the small things from the dishwasher like spoon, fork, etc. Each of them is accountable to a certain task that leads to self-knowledge and confidence.

• Givers not takers - if your kids have responsibility of their own, then not doing a certain task will be not good for other brother or sister. So the root of moral development will be developed. Kids will think of 'others' and selfishness can be avoided.

• Intellectual stimulation - having more kids means lot of conversation and playful interaction. That will strengthens the kids judgment.

• Laughter - even trials come, a big family is a place of happiness and fun. Everything seems livelier and sharing is really heartfelt. If you are from a big family then you can remember the fun that you had together. J & M will not sleep until one of us will shout 'Tulog na kayo!!!' (Please sleep!!!) There is no end of laughing and 'biruan'!
  

• Learn to be fair - every kid has his/her own differences, truly they will learn to share and have the ability to forgive and forget easily because kids can witness the moral standard with other brother or sister.

• Self-reliance - it is really true that having a big family would need extra effort to have financial satisfaction and valuable time for the kids. In most cases, children will learn the difference between 'Wants & Needs'. They will try to earn something for what they want. If it is a basic need, then they will appreciate the true value of money. Through this character, they will have the chance to develop the moral value of virtues and patience.

• Bonding - the older kid will play sometimes to a younger one. This will form a bond of love and affection with them. The younger kid will learn and receive love from older one, not only to their parents. I personally witness how J took care his 5 year old brother. He can give a nice bath to M, prepare breakfast and even cook something for them. Truly there is a bonding between them.

No matter what trials come to your children, they will not be alone confronting the burden and joy of life.

Do you think it is a JOKE!?

One time a friend of mine sent an e-mail and it really made my day. I just like to share and hope you will enjoy and have a little fun out of it.

Scene 1

Wife : Sweetheart can you fix the lighting outside in our garage?
Husband : Hellooooooo....am I electrician?
Wife : Ok...then can you fix the leaking faucet?
Husband : Hellooooooo....am I a plumber?

(The husband just left away and after several hours, to his surprise everything has been repaired. He asked his wife who came to help. )

Wife : Ahmmm.....I 've been crying a while ago and someone saw me.I told him that a lot of things has to be repaired at home. So he offered to help in exchange of either sex or I will bake a cake.
Husband : So. You bake a cake for him?
Wife : Helloooooooooo......Do you think I am a baker!?

Scene 2

Husband came from the church , suddenly lifted his wife and carried her.
Wife : Why???? Did the priest told you to be romantic like this????
Husband : No!!! He told me to carry my cross!

Scene 3

Wife : I am warning you!!! My husband is coming in just 1 hour!!!
Handsome Visitor : Well, I am not doing anything bad.
Wife : That is the point!!! If you plan to do something, do it now!!!!

Scene 4

Wife : Miracle, you are so early today!
Husband : I just follow what my Boss said. 'GO TO HELL'. I am here now!

is it ok? (can be used as a replacement of PLEASE)

B and I has been married for about 12 yrs and I could say we are not exempted on trials, problem, stress with kids and we are even active serving the CFC (Couples for Christ). I admire B coz she never been so authoritive and she has been using 'IS IT OK?' as a start of a certain dialogue that needs something to be done like for some instances:

- 'Is it ok if you have time, can you throw the garbage?'

- 'Is it ok if you send some money to my parents, do we have the budget?'

- 'Is it ok if you iron also one of my blazer, if you have time please?'

- 'Is it ok if you check J's assignment? I could not do it tonight coz I will be late.'

- 'Is it ok if we attend the afternoon mass instead the morning one?'

- 'Is it ok if you lower your voice coz it will do nothing if you are shouting the kids?'

- 'Is it ok if you cook for us? We miss your style Dad.'

- 'Is it ok if you could not be a hot temper person?'

You know what, those words mean a lot to me than being an 'authoritive wife'. Sometimes even you do not like to do a request, you will be conscienced not to follow coz it has been said in a right manner.